Well as you can tell I have gotten slack again, so this post will be a doozy!
The new job is going very well. I have gotten settled in, and met so many wonderful people in my new role. Today we had our holiday luncheon, and I volunteered to man the door for an hour so I could meet many more ACBJ people. I thought I would have a hard time going back to an office setting, after being in retail for so long then working from home, but I have adjusted well. There are so manny opportunities with my new role, and I am loving that. Plenty to keep me busy. Look at what one of my wonderful co-workers sent me after fixing her Mac…
As far as knitting goes, I have been working on an Entrelac hat with the Skacel yarn that I purchased in Baltimore at Lovely Yarns. This yarn has been a dream to work with. I love how it is knitting up, and because it’s infused with Aloe and Jojoba oils, it feels great when you are working with it. It definitely gets top marks form me. (I’m begging Remi to get me more).
Speaking of the fabulous Remi and Charlotte Yarn, I practically begged to help out there, and she has said yes! So a couple of Saturdays a month, you can find me there, knitting away or helping with projects. This has just fueled my passion for teaching knitting. I love being able to share my experiences with knitting, and pass the tradition on. My classes at the Community Center are going strong and I cold not ask for more wonderful students. Dianne, Linda, Christine – you guys are amazing and inspiring! Thank you for coming to the Center and learning from me.
I also am still teaching at the children’s home, although I have not been able to go the past could of weeks with the new duties at work. Hopefully after the Christmas break, I will be able to go more and not have conflicts.
So about the holidays, I have been having a hard time with them lately, as the magic has seemed to fade for me since Nana died back in 2001. Really since then, it’s just me and Mom for the holidays since who know what my sister and brother will do. They never come around on those days. This year, my dad’s side of the family had a holiday party and wanted me to attend. I did not for a couple of reasons…
1) It never seems that they are around during the other 364 days of the year, so why do I need to give them one? Now granted, there are a select few who are a part of my life year round (and if your reading this, you know you are) and I am more than happy to see them, but I just do not feel the need to spend time with those that never bother to call, write or email. In this day and age, there is just simply no excuse for not being in contact.
Now this leads to #2 – I have made no secret that my Dad and I do not have a relationship that spans more than the occasional phone call. I have fully relegated the fact that it probably will not go beyond that. Are we just two different people? Is it because I am gay? Is it because his brother is gay? Is it because l stepped up and helped Mom when her world fell apart? So many questions, but no real answers I am afraid. There are those in my dad’s side of the family that will say me being queer has nothing to do with it (again you know who you are), but I am not so sure.
I don’t know if I will ever get the answers to all my questions, but I do know that I am not going to continually live in the what-if’s – instead I am going to live in the here and now. I have wrestled with this for many years now, and I simply can not do it any longer.
I did take the time this year to do something that I have not done in a long time, since 2001 actually. I sat down and hand wrote my Christmas cards. All 123 of them with personalized notes. I love sending handwritten notes and cards. Something that I thank my Nana for installing in me to this day. It was so nice to be able to sit and reflect on the friendships I have made throughout the years, and letting my friends know is one of the small acts of kindness I truly love.
Until next time… May you all, (my faithful 10), have a very Merry Christmas and a great New Year.